Happy Father’s Day to The Unconventional Father

This blog post is for all the Fathers, Step-Fathers, Uncles, Brothers, Grandfathers, Friends and all the mothers out there who had to step up and play both roles; Happy Father’s Day.

This post is especially for the man that I have called dad for 22 years of my existence.

Every year on Father’s Day I reflect on my life and how truly lucky I am to have had you step in where someone else ran out.

No, you didn’t have a part in my genetic creation but, you had EVERY other part in creating me into who I am. You stepped up and chose to be my dad, to raise a child that wasn’t yours. To raise the child another man had thrown away.  And that will always mean 1000x more to me.

In all honesty, I consider my self one of the lucky ones. My biological father leaving opened the door for someone stronger, kinder and a better fit to come into me and my mother’s lives. Not only have you raised me into the strong, independent and vocal (sometimes too much so) woman that I am but, I have watched you help my mother grow into the full warrior that she is today. You were the strength that helped us both come into our own and into the bad ass women we are today.

To me, a Father is some one who shows up, who makes you feel safe and makes you never doubt that you are loved. And you did just that, and so much more.

You were the one who came to every play, choir recital and sports event, no matter how small. You were even in attendance for my acting debut as Flower #4 in The Nut Cracker when I was in the 1st grade. You built a wooden ambulance with(for) me for a Pinewood derby, it sure as hell wasn’t the fastest but it was by far the best. You physically and mentally pulled me out of my depression when I failed the NCLEX the first time around, and made sure as hell I passed the second time.

To this day you are who I call when I need guidance or when my job breaks my heart.  I called you when I inserted my first IV successfully and when I was devastated after performing CPR for the first time. Ever since I was a little girl I have looked up to you as a hero. You saved lives on the streets as a paramedic, and you saved mine as a fragile little girl.

All of these memories may seem small individually but, looked at as a whole, being adopted by you has lead me to this wonderful life I have.

You loved me at my worst and to this day, still celebrate me at my best.

I could write this post for days but I will sum it up with this: As I get older I realize more and more that this “Blood is thicker than water” mentality is bullshit. It isn’t genetics that makes you family but it’s simpler than that; It’s those who don’t walk away when it gets hard. It’s those who love you and who choose you everyday.

I Can Count All of my Close Friends on One Hand, and That’s OKAY

I don’t have many friends, and for the first time in my life I feel perfectly content with that. It has taken me (almost) 25 years, moving 5,000 miles from home and many failed friendships to come to this realization. This was not an epiphany that occurred overnight, but definitely one that has been a long time coming.

I realize that sometimes people are just shitty friends, for the lack of a better term. Sometimes people are not worth your time. And I don’t need to keep them or their negativity in my life. And that has been the most freeing realization of all. I can walk away. 

And I did just that: I stopped calling back the women who couldn’t (wouldn’t) make time for me. I deleted numbers of those who have talked down to me, and I unfriended two dozen accounts of people who haven’t spoken to me since they bullied me in High School. And you know what was left when I cut all of these people out? My Tribe.

My tribe. My Ride or Dies. My people. My friends. My family.

These are the ones worth my time. Worth my effort and love, because they give it back to me ten fold.

And so, I may be able to count my number of close friends on one hand, but those friends are my fingers, and make me the strongest fist.

With that I say Goodnight and may you have a wonderful day filled with Coffee, Cats and Cusswords

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